In this section of Camus's novella, Meursault reaches an emotional climax. For the first time, during his murder trial, Meursault feels a "stupid urge to cry" (90). The trial stirs strong emotions in Meursault because he "could feel how much all these people [in the courtroom] hated [him]" (90). However, he immediately reproaches himself for almost succumbing to his emotions, calling the compulsion to cry "stupid". This is the first time Meursault appears to care what others think of his social decisions. Even during the trial, the lawyers give examples of Meursault's unconventional decisions, primarily those surrounding his mother's death. For example, he does not cry or grieve, he does not stay at her grave to pay his last respects, and he takes a girl on a light-hearted date the following day.
Why might Meursault draw the line at this instance of societal disapproval? Never before has he minded when the people around him judge him for his self-serving and strangely indifferent impulses. However, all of these impulses and their consequences have suddenly accumulated into one moment, and they have produced a novel affect on Meursault. Each individual decision leading up to this moment pays off for Meursault; he does not 'waste time' dwelling on his mother's death, and he has an enjoyable, satisfying evening with a women whom he finds attractive. However, this is the first instance in which his impulses have negative consequences; therefore, this is the first time Meursault feels regret. Meursault feels the urge to cry because, for the first time, he regrets his self-centered lifestyle and the consequences of his choices.
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